It's not me - my friends are crazy! and random stuff I can't figure a category for 12:10 pm
Some recent comments, completely out of context, of course:
Oddly enough, not all of those are mine. But I sure love it when unexpected people talk like I do.
Books and BoyFriend and Confessions of a Shallow Mind and fashion and general 9:59 am
Okay, so I’ve been away. On the Boat Week. Which was amazingly fun, thank you for asking. I managed to avoid burning, mostly by layering SPF50-billion and long sleeved clothes. I did get some sun, so now I’m all freckled again. Which is all good and well, I like them. BF is all tanned and gorgeous, which really isn’t fair. He was having a blast, and got along great with everyone, btw. I have to admit I was a bit worried. Not because I didn’t trust him getting along with my friends, he’s one of those annoying people who get along with everyone! But because we have a very tight group, we’re mostly known each other since we were 6, so it’s really hard for someone new to come into the mix. Especially someone who doesn’t speak French. But he’s learning!
I took a beating in our Scrabble game, by the way. My French vocabulary is diminishing, it seems. Need to pick up some books in French from now on, as well as fashion magazines.
Speaking of fashion, my Boat Week was cut by a very welcome interruption. I’m currently writing this at my own desk, back in Paris, after taking in some of the Couture shows for fall. Once again, I walked out of Jean Paul Gaultier show with a long list of “I want that!” We’ll have to see. There were a few changes I’d like, and stuff, but… I love his stuff, everyone knows that! You can always trust JP to make something that’s at the same time “wow” and somehow so very “me”.
I’ve been streamlining my closet this past spring and early summer. Seriously. I’ve noticed that what with all the house-hopping, being in Finland, France, couple of places in States, I’ve reverted to the American style of wardrobe. And that’s no good. Most importantly, that’s not me. So, streamlining. Which is something I must remember when checking out the fall shows, and deciding what, if any, I’m getting this fall. (I didn’t make it to the Chanel show, but luckily I’m able to catch up with what they had later today.)
It’s time for me to return to my roots, and to the cornerstones of my wardrobe. Having, using, and buying only things I can honestly say I love with a passion. Things I can say I’ll wear 5 years from now. Because that’s always been my thing. I just got lost, together with everyone else, to this buying frenzy of funny little things and chic little pick-me-ups. (Okay, the lace-and-tulle over-the-knee lace-up stiletto heel boots by Sergio Rossi were a justified buy. If for no other reason, than how much BF loves those!)
But that’s all about fashion. Maybe I’ll make a more detailed post later on about it, should anyone care. There was something else I though about… Wonder what it was…
Oh, yes! In my current “I’m loving the Armed Forces” thing, that was started by the HBO mini series Generation Kill, and carried further by the actual book Generation Kill by Evan Wright, I have been immersing myself to the culture of military. It’s really quite fascinating! The bonds that are formed and the comrade that’s evident is quite special. Also, the philosophical yet practical approach these guys have towards things like life and death, war and love and family, is truly intriguing. I’ll write more about my feelings regarding Generation Kill in my review-of-sorts, once I get there, but for now, let’s just say you should all read it. Seriously. Another thing that’s been interesting to see is the way these more recent wars, like Iraq, Afghanistan and to an extent Vietnam, are treated so differently as stories from WWII and other earlier wars. It’s hard to believe that war’s any different, regardless of the time, and yet the image that gets portrayed makes it seem like the actual battle has changed considerably. But then again, what do I know, I’ve never been in any war, I’ve never served in military. Which in turns makes it an even more interesting read.
I was recommended a book called Of Arms and Men by Robert L O’Connell, about how the development of guns and technology has changed not only the wars we fight in but the society. It seems really interesting, so I might have to check that out.
The Boat Week managed to get me back to books again. I was, once again, in a bit of a reading funk, but all that lounging on the deck made me pick up a book and get lost in a story. After all, it’s not like I was going to swim! So… I’m back! Interestingly, I’ve been feeling my old interest to philosophy return, which is great. I’ve missed that. Also, after an embarrassingly long spout of “I can’t really be bothered”, I’m into contemporary issues again. Politics, culture, society. I want to know. And with that, always comes my thirst for history. Which in turn might have been flared up also by the military things I’ve read, as there’s always references to history when you’re talking about war. So all in all, I’m feeling like actually activating my brain again, after a long period of “handbag shopping counts as a sociopolitical and cultural statement, right?”. In the words of J, “the Brain is back”. This should be fun.
Now I have to go, I have an appointment before lunch.
BoyFriend and It's not me - my friends are crazy! and Ski Guy and fashion and knitting 2:41 pm
Beth: I’m practicing first on my second ball.
Me: Dirty.
She was talking about her first attempts at knitting. Or so she says…
* * * * *
Ski Guys calls, and as soon as I pick up.
Ski Guy: Are you making fun of my blog?
Me: No! Of course not! I adore your blog. *pause* I’m making fun of you.
*pause*
Ski Guy: Okay.
* * * * *
BF and I are meeting H and J for lunch. H arrives wearing a flowery dress. Like, really flowery. BF stands up to greet her. (Note! BF and H get along really well.)
BF: [H], you look… *he takes a closer, longer look* … like a flower shop threw up on you.
H *turns to me, faking indignation and sarcasm*: He’s a keeper.
Me *laughing hysterically*: And correct!
It wasn’t a good dress.
Confessions of a Shallow Mind and Ski Guy 4:42 pm
You’d think that compliment’s a compliment, and they’re all pretty much the same, and all are nice to hear. Well, they are all nice to hear, but there are differences in them. Let’s see…
First, there’s the compulsory compliments. The “oh, you look lovely! Have you had your hair done?” ones, where you’re not really sure if they’re just saying that for the sake of saying something, or if they really do like your hair/dress/earrings. These compliments aren’t really compliments at all, but general social niceties that are required in normal interaction between people. And everyone knows the rules. You’re supposed to give, and receive, them like you mean them. Only, you’re also allowed to be mean with them. Now that’s a skill. Not the obviously mean ones, everyone can do those! But the ones that sounds like a compliment, look like a compliment, even feel like a compliment, except for that little voice in your head that goes “what did she really mean by that?” But as far as we’re not considering the mean version of this compliment, the compulsory compliment is a nice, if empty thing to hear.
Then there’s the “family compliments”. These are nice, make you feel better, until you realise these people are required to say you look nice etc. because they love you. They don’t want to hurt your feelings, so they lie. Or alternatively, they really do think that everything you do, including that unfortunate Flashdance-phase you underwent, is wonderful and an amazing idea. The family compliments usually come from mothers, boyfriends, husbands and other people like that who have an emotional (and sometimes physical) reason to be nice. Nonetheless, it is always nice to hear your new dress looks good on you, truth or not.
Third group of compliments are the ones with a hidden agenda. These are used to flatter you when the one passing them out is really just trying to get something out of you. “You’re so good with organizing like that, I wish I was more like you” is designed to make you take responsibility of whatever function needs to be directed, and taking the responsibility off the shoulders of the person saying that. Even your close friends use these: “That bag is so beautiful! I wish I had your wardrobe.” And before long, you’re either loaning, or even giving, the item in question to your friend.
Of course, there are sincere compliments, too! You’re boyfriend really does think you look beautiful as you meet him for dinner. Your friends love your new hairdo. You really did well in the tennis court this afternoon. These are always compliments one loves to hear. They make you feel all warm and fuzzy and sparkling. Only, once you’ve been in the receiving end of the not-so-nice types of compliments for a rather long time, you start to question these. Are they saying that ’cause they know you? Does your husband think you look beautiful in this outfit because he thinks you look pretty in everything, including that time you wore your grandmothers old straw hat and a pair of denim overalls for some garden work and he said you looked really cute? Are you getting complements for your tennis game, not because it’s actually any good, but because you just don’t suck anymore? Why are they complimenting me?
That’s why my favourite compliments are the Stranger Compliments, or the No-Strings-Attached compliments. When someone who has no idea who I am, and what I can and cannot do, pays me a compliment, I know it’s real. Okay, it can be really shallow, like a long look at my ass. But I’m not judging that as a compliment to my intellect (as which it would be lousy) but as a compliment to the way my ass looks in my snappy little pencil skirt. And that lets me know it looks good. Thank you, sir, now wipe that drool off your chin.
What got me thinking of all this? As of late I’ve started to anonymously comment on Ski Guy’s blog. Okay, he knows it’s me, after all, he caught one of my jokes. But no one else does. And I was just complimented with a comment that I “have some funny comments”. Now, from a complete stranger, that’s a big thing. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy, ’cause I know he (or she, I don’t know) said it purely based on my comments on Ski Guy’s blog. Nothing else. So, I was considered funny. That’s really nice to hear.
Books 5:38 pm
I’m finally getting around to updating my book lists and challenges. I’ve been in a reading funk for quite some time now, and am only just getting back into the rhythm. So… stay tuned!
Confessions of a Shallow Mind and Daddy Dearest and general 8:28 pm
Whenever something happens, something bad and terrible and dangerous, people get scared. That’s a given, and perfectly natural. And we start to avoid the thing that went wrong. When the planes hit the Twin Towers people started to avoid flying. When someone gets kidnapped, more security measures are put in place for people in similar circumstance as the victim, even people completely unrelated to the issue. When a friend heard her plane for her flight was supposed to be Airbus, she rescheduled, because of the plane that dropped to the Atlantic Ocean.*
Maybe I’m weird, maybe I’m naive, maybe I’m lots of things, but whenever people do these things, I think “too late!” the bad thing already happened, you’re safety measured won’t help anymore. The way I see it, these kinds of bad things are largely individual cases. The fact that the planes were flown into the WTC doesn’t mean another one will be hijacked tomorrow, so you’re perfectly okay to fly to your conference.
That’s not to say we should check the safety measures that are in place. And I do believe everything should be done to minimize the risk. But when something bad happens because of one or more lunatics, your precautions are in vane and too late. It’s not a recurring phenomena. It’s a one-off thing! So what’s the point?
DD wants to put me under closer protection. Like, ‘personal protection’. Because of recent events. I don’t see the point in that. I’m perfectly safe. The shit hit the fan, didn’t hit me, and now it’s over. So why bother anymore?
* Okay, maybe that example doesn’t belong there, as there has been some trouble with the Airbus planes. But are there anymore than usual (apart from the crash)? Or are they just making headlines because of the one that crashed?
random stuff I can't figure a category for 10:24 pm
We received some amazingly good news earlier today. My friend who’s been missing, has now been found, and she’s okay. I don’t want to go into details of the case, or discuss it any further. However, as I mentioned it here earlier, I wanted to share the good news. She’s home, and she’s good.
We couldn’t be happier.
Confessions of a Shallow Mind and It's not me - my friends are crazy! and Ski Guy 1:56 pm
I am most probably the worst reply-er to email. I’m horrible. Takes me forever. And that’s the only way to hear from me, as everyone knows I’m terrible at keeping in touch. I call, text occasionally, but unless I make arrangements with you, forget it. I don’t forget people, or ignore them on purpose. I just “store stories”. I think of something I need to say to you, think “oh, I’m not going to email about that alone, as I need to write about that other thing too” but then I don’t have the time to go through both the stories at the moment so I postpone the entire email until “I have a better moment”. Which is, well, ‘better moment’ doesn’t exist. We all know that.
Unless you have this lovely calendar from See Jane Work, where ‘Someday’ actually exists! How cool is that? But that’s beside the point.
Well, now I’m getting a taste of my own medicine. I’m anxiously waiting for a reply from my “My School Looks Like An Alien Ship On Google Earth” -friend as well as Ski Guy. How come people aren’t at their computers, just waiting to reply to me when I email them?? Are you trying to tell me they have a life?? How rude.
I now solemnly swear to do everything within my power to fix my abhorrent emailing habits. I promise. Pinkie-swear.
p.s. Yes, you saw correctly. As of now, Ski Guy has his own category.
Confessions of a Shallow Mind and decisions are difficult and ice hockey and jobs 2:50 pm
The modern micro economic theory and the theory of consumer choice builds on the concept of local nonsatiation. The idea that no matter how much we have, no matter which of our preferences are fulfilled, there is always at least on bundle of goods, material or immaterial, that we will prefer to the current one.
I got an internship I applied for. I know, I should look for a real job, a paid job, but what with the current economic situation and the fact that I’m an economics major, internship is good.
Only, I don’t want it anymore.
Once I got it, I was like “nah, not so interesting”. It’s not enough. If it was this easy to get the internship, I should go after something more challenging. I mean, I could get something else, too. This is no longer enough.
I wonder if the internship has an NHL clause. Maybe I should ask for one.
BoyFriend and Daddy Dearest and random stuff I can't figure a category for 9:01 am
I’ve always been a strong defender of the idea that if you think money can’t buy you happiness, you just don’t know where to shop. But there are things money can’t buy. Things no amount of shoes or new purses or jewellery can’t fix. And wrongs all the wealth in the world can’t make right.
The other day I tried my very best to pry a word out of heart-broken BF. Watching his dreams crumble is something I never ever want to see, yet I know that it’s going to happen again and again because of who he is, and how he lives. I threw everything I had to him: the funny ii, the kind ii, the crazy ii, the nice ii, the loving ii… nothing got a reaction out of him. I couldn’t reach him.
I couldn’t buy a skirt and make him stop hurting. I could ask DD for the plane and be near him, but I couldn’t fix things for him. I couldn’t buy him happiness.
Yesterday I stood in a store holding a thousand-dollar straw hat in my hand and listened to my friend on the phone telling me that one of our mutual friends had gone missing. Like seriously missing. Noone’s heard of her since last Tuesday night. And we want her back, no matter what the cost.
But we can’t solve this by money. We can hire the best detectives, use every connection we have to press for more police involvement, pay for all the public announcements we want, offer a considerable award for any leads. But all we really can do is pray. Not pay.
I want my friend back. I want BF to smile again.
I want my friend back.
